Blessed.

I sort of have a bad habit. When I am REALLY WORRIED about something, I tend to only talk to Heavenly Father and my Husband about it. It is difficult for me to let others help me carry my burdens. Let them make me dinner. Watch my kids. It is SO HARD for me to ask for help. PRIDE? maybe. Or maybe I worry about burdening others with our problems. I can't seem to talk about anything without becoming an emotional basket-case.

So~ I should apologize. I have mostly been sharing our brighter moments. Our family has been having some difficulties lately. It has been an emotional time. The house has been a mess, as we have been preparing to sell it. Our days have been filled with construction projects.....and Dr. visits. Specialists. Praying constantly under my breath. Worrying about our little baby girl. Downplaying the magnitude of the word "if." It has been difficult.

You may have read a post I made nearly a year ago. It was about the relief we felt when our prayers were answered for our Daughter. You can read it here.

We have had some more difficulties surrounding the situation concerning the birthmark on Avey's back. About 5 months ago it started to grow and get very rigid and bony, directly over her spine. The tissue changed color, and began to grow larger to her left side. We've been visiting a Neurologist for some time now, and consulting with several doctors over her situation. It was quite puzzling for every professional we saw. We have been given many scenarios of what "could be" going on. Some of these suggestions crippled us with fear, and some left us with hope. We were told it could be everything from a bony deformity to possibly a malignant or cancerous lesion. There was the possibility of inoperable fatty tissue being tethered to her spine, only to eventually cripple her, or maybe a split spine and sac. Her original diagnoses of "Soft Tissue Hemangioma" was no longer fitting the mold of what is happening with her. We have been quite scared for her health and life. Our visits with the Neurologist at Primary Children's were both encouraging and discouraging. He was honest and gave us the devastating scenarios, but also left us with hope, because the she was displaying no Neurological deficits, besides some briskness in her reflexes. He was very helpful to us, and though this journey has been expensive, we are so grateful for knowledgeable doctors and residents, and their ability to help us figure this situation out.

As you can imagine, getting the news of a possible life-threatening situation for your child has been devastating for us. And stressful. We pondered the possibilities of how we would pay the medical bills, and thought of selling our home. We put on our smiling faces, and tried to be as normal as possible. I would be lying if I said I haven't cried myself to sleep some nights. I have been sick with worry. Judd has been a rock, and has handled things well. Sometimes, I think he has so much more FAITH than I could ever have.

Today I am crying. But, they are tears of JOY. We received the BEST news we could have gotten this week! Avey was hospitalized on Tuesday for some more testing, and a sedated MRI. The Neurological Radiologist that we saw spoke with us after the MRI, and gave us AMAZING news. Her hemangioma had grown considerably, and had grown hard and calcified, but was in the process of involuting on itself. (basically beginning the process of disappearing completely) So, though it appears to be scary, and may still require surgery (depending on several factors), it is still basically a benign lesion, that is NOT tethered to her spine, or causing any deformity of her spinal column as of yet. AND to answer more of our constant prayers, there were no confirmed cavernous hemangiomas growing on or in any of her organs...(which was another scary possibility)

We are crossing our fingers that the hemangioma continues to "eat itself alive" (as we like to say:) and will continue to pray that it doesn't change it's mind, as they unpredictably can...

We will consult with Neurosurgery in the coming month, and continue to consult with Neurology throughout the coming years, and repeat testing every so often, but this has been WONDERFUL news. We are so BLESSED. The lesion should completely disappear eventually! (though to look at it, you wouldn't believe it.) Also, the expense of this journey has not been what we were expecting, and we should be able to pay for it over time:) We are still selling our house, but hopefully to just find a LARGER home for our family.

Sorry that I haven't said something about this yet. I hope you all understand. It seem that there are so many other friends and family members whose trials are so much more than ours. I hate to complain. Still, it was important to write this down...and therapeutic as well:) Thank you for reading.... If you've made it this far, you deserve a medal:)

I love all of you. You bless our lives.